I'M COMING HOME FRIDAY AND I'LL BE BACK AT MY HOUSE AROUND 2PM!
YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!
I miss you all and I can't wait to see everyone.
:)
YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!
I miss you all and I can't wait to see everyone.
:)
And I need to document this mokent because I am so fucked right now it's not even funny.
OMG. haha. I need to sleep. Oh dear god I'm so drunk.
Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.
It's four in the morning. I had a crazy ass night. And I need to sleep.
Life is fucking fabulous.
Life is fucking fabulous.
I'm done with this journal.
Switched to a new account for college.
I won't be on this one anymore.
There's something I want to say first though. And I'm kinda past the point of caring about being bitchy or what you guys think of me. Because I know this is going to sound bitchy. And I guess you guys already have such a low opinion of me anyway that it won't surprise you in the least. But I don't mean to be bitchy. I just want to be honest with all of you for once and tell you how I really feel instead of not saying anything and pretending everything is okay because it's not. Let's start with the pressing issue. Yeah. I slept with him. And I regret it, the one thing in my life I truly regret. But I regret it because it made me lose my respect for myself. I'm sorry it hurt you Amelia and I'm sorry I lied about it, but really? There's several other guys in your life right now. One's that I thought you truly cared about more than JR. I'm done apologizing. There's nothing else to say. You did the same thing to me about a year ago when you fooled around with Matt. Except he was the only guy I was seeing. And I had dated him for eight months. And I loved him more than anything. I still do love him actually. Right now, that's the one thing I can think about which just makes me realize that I guess I have issues letting go of that. And issues forgiving you for it. Sleeping with JR was an accident, a mistake and whatever else you want to call it. It meant nothing. Sorry. Nothing.
Second issue. I'm fine with giving you gas money it's only fair. But don't make me sound like the bad person after I drove us around all that time. After I had to give my parents 30 cents a mile every time I took the car out. As well as loaning you money a couple times. I'm fine with doing that. You're my friend. But don't make me sound like a selfish bitch because of it.
Third issue. For the past four years I've failed with trying to have a friendship with all of you. And honestly. I leave for college tomorrow so there's no point in trying to fix anything. I failed. I made no impact, and I'm still the overdramatic and annoying one. I guess that's not going to change. So I'm sorry. I loved all of you and I want to thank you for everything you guys did do for me. But I never felt accepted. I never felt like I could really trust any of you. I rarely felt well liked. Most of the time I felt like I was just being put up with. If that's what was going on I wish you guys had said something because I feel like I wasted my time.
♥
Switched to a new account for college.
I won't be on this one anymore.
There's something I want to say first though. And I'm kinda past the point of caring about being bitchy or what you guys think of me. Because I know this is going to sound bitchy. And I guess you guys already have such a low opinion of me anyway that it won't surprise you in the least. But I don't mean to be bitchy. I just want to be honest with all of you for once and tell you how I really feel instead of not saying anything and pretending everything is okay because it's not. Let's start with the pressing issue. Yeah. I slept with him. And I regret it, the one thing in my life I truly regret. But I regret it because it made me lose my respect for myself. I'm sorry it hurt you Amelia and I'm sorry I lied about it, but really? There's several other guys in your life right now. One's that I thought you truly cared about more than JR. I'm done apologizing. There's nothing else to say. You did the same thing to me about a year ago when you fooled around with Matt. Except he was the only guy I was seeing. And I had dated him for eight months. And I loved him more than anything. I still do love him actually. Right now, that's the one thing I can think about which just makes me realize that I guess I have issues letting go of that. And issues forgiving you for it. Sleeping with JR was an accident, a mistake and whatever else you want to call it. It meant nothing. Sorry. Nothing.
Second issue. I'm fine with giving you gas money it's only fair. But don't make me sound like the bad person after I drove us around all that time. After I had to give my parents 30 cents a mile every time I took the car out. As well as loaning you money a couple times. I'm fine with doing that. You're my friend. But don't make me sound like a selfish bitch because of it.
Third issue. For the past four years I've failed with trying to have a friendship with all of you. And honestly. I leave for college tomorrow so there's no point in trying to fix anything. I failed. I made no impact, and I'm still the overdramatic and annoying one. I guess that's not going to change. So I'm sorry. I loved all of you and I want to thank you for everything you guys did do for me. But I never felt accepted. I never felt like I could really trust any of you. I rarely felt well liked. Most of the time I felt like I was just being put up with. If that's what was going on I wish you guys had said something because I feel like I wasted my time.
♥
That fucking dumbass crackwhore cunt bag.
I want to punch her in the face and i would if it didn't mean I'd get kicked out of college.
I hate her.
- Mood:
infuriated
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pckdsatisfactn- Alana
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